Beth Suzanne

My full name is Beth Suzanne - named after the shy and simple sister in the book Little Women - and my middle moniker a quiet tribute to my mother. She thought about naming me Josephine, being intuitive enough to know that Jo March's character would be a closer likeness to my own personality and willfulness. But she says once she looked at me, I was Beth. Not Elizabeth, just Beth. Beth Suzanne.

For as long as I can remember, I have had an affinity for old things, of all kinds. People, clothes, furniture, houses, souls, songs and stories. I'm certain this has everything to do with my mom being my best friend when I was growing up, who was almost 40 when she had me, and my favorite person in the world to hang out with.

An older mom, by most standards - especially back then. A single mom. A full-time and over-time working mom. And a do anything to keep it all together kinda mom. We would spend weekends at thrift stores or yard sales and I'd ask a million questions about all of the old things, and she'd know all the answers.

Born in the 1940's, growing up in the 50's, graduating high school and college in the 60's, married in the mid-70's, starting a family in the 80's, supporting that family on her own in the 90's, and letting those babies go and live their own lives in the years after that. She has seen it all, and lived through those beautiful eras that I often wish I'd seen with my own eyes. And so here I am, all happy and weird and creative. And it's all her fault.

I think the way she loves her children is part of her makeup, and I'm hoping it's in mine too. I hope when I'm a momma someday that I carry myself as gracefully as she did back then, even when she was probably crumbling inside at times. I hope I encourage my kids to do the things that make them happy and love the people who make them better.

And mostly, if I'm wishing and hoping - I hope my mom knows how loved she is - by us kids, by people who knew her back then, and by the people that know her now and the light and creativity she brings to every day, sunny or stormy.

And for all of that - I'm very proud to be Beth Suzanne.

Happy Mother's Day, to Suzanne (no middle name) Brinker.

Written May 14, 2017 in a hotel room in New York City